in need of adderall.

i don't know why, but the ability to sit down and concentrate on doing work has evaded me since being in london. i just can't do it. my mind starts to wander, thinking about everything else i could be doing. and i get antsy. and i get up and do something else. or, i get on facebook, or download music, or sleep. i just can't do work here, and that is bothersome, as i need to know that when i come back for grad school, i'll be able to focus. blah. i'll cross that bridge when i come to it. in the meantime, i'll just procrastinate and wait until the last minute, resulting in numerous nervous breakdowns. ha. can't wait.

possibly my favourite thing about london.

dancing on the ceiling.

feeling no pain, you blast yourself into outer space amongst the satellites. when you feel yourself about to descend, you blow and blow. and blow. until you blow yourself back into orbit: you're happy now and life is grand up there. suddenly, though, you get bored with space and so you plunge yourself into the depths of obscurity. into the things hidden in the farthest recesses of your mind-- they become reality. nothing is impossible. you see it all. you feel it all. you sense it all. you hear it all. your eyes widen as the space around you turns to marshmallow. but this gets to be too much for you, and you begin to miss floating around in orbit. so you blow yourself back to space.



i haven't abandoned you.

London. It's still crazy to think that I am here. But I am. And I love it. I wake up daily with a smile on my face, knowing that I haven't a clue what the day has in store for me. And I embrace that. I revel in it. I love being able to walk around freely and observe, see how people live and interact with each other. I love observing the culture, the amalgamated culture-- a mix of high and low. I love that because cultures are converging (especially with the amount of immigration in London) it is virtually impossible to distinguish who is who: the person shopping next to you at Selfridge's, or the person sitting next to you on the tube could be anyone. That makes me comfortable. It gives me a sense of excitement: the mystery, the vagueness, the vastness. London is a city so accessible, yet so inaccessible. And totally unpredictable; everything from the rain to the fashion to culture to personalities-- you never know what you're going to get, and I love it. I can hardly wait to see what comes of my time here in this anomaly of a city. Whatever happens, I have a feeling I'll leave having adopted its unpredictability.


murakami = prodigious.

so i went to nyc over the weekend to the brooklyn museum for the takashi murakami exhibit. i must say, that it was the most amazing art exhibit i've beheld: two floors of otherworldly magic is what it was, and i felt as if i'd been abducted by aliens and taken aboard their craft, for a mere $8 fee. cutting edge annime-inspired sculptures, ultrathin & seemingly flat paintings, luxurious collaborations with design house louis vuitton, vivid, [borerline psychadelic] colours and surrealist characters, astounding imagery [sexuality and consumerism], and wonderfully cynical paradigms, the exhibit was everything i expected and much much more.


my friend is amazing.

and here's why:

+ the beat goes on...

i've not been around much lately. things have been extremely hectic, so much so that i've not had the energy, much less the time, to add to the blog. but busy is a good thing, yes? i like to think so. while i've been gone, i've been learning lots, challenging myself, finally allowing room for a bit of fun, getting to know some new people, and listening to some new music (new to me at least), which has turned out to be an enriching experience.

at any rate, now i'm back (until i get swamped again, hehe).

unfortunately, at the moment, i'm at a loss for words. so i'll be back later.


au moment.. j'aime...

+madonna's hard candy
+lemon coconut cookies from whole foods
+raw almonds
+bbq seitan from whole foods
+jason mraz's we sing, we dance, we steal things
+small notebooks
+the cool kids
+lcd soundsystem
+estelle's shine
+stretched-out white tees
+an organized mess
+thift store-bought knitted cardigan
+hillary clinton
+prince's sign o' the times
+my black ipod
+my black skinny jeans
+my black and white flip-flops
+mark ronson's version
+parliament marlboro lights
+lupe fiasco's the cool
+my internship
+takashi murakami
+cut copy
+the dreamers [all-encompassing]
+madonna's ray of light
+party monster
+whatever else i like these days


frida kahlo

yesterday i had the chance to visit the frida kahlo art exhibit at the philadelphia museum of art. aside from being extremely crowded, the exhibit was amazing. i'd always heard of frida kahlo (salma hayek played her in the movie 'frida') and saw her staple pieces, but to see other pieces she created, and even personal photographs of hers was gratifying. at any rate, for those of you who aren't aware, frida was an artist who painted self-portraits, using symbolism and multiple selfs to show her feelings during pivotal moments in her life. i really got into a lot of the pieces, especially hearing the story behind each one. suffice it to say, the exhibit was enlighening.


human nature.

i remember seeing this video when i was younger. let's see... '95... i was about 11. i remember my older cousins watching this video and being enamored with it. loving the rawness. the edginess. i didn't really get it back then. but i get it now. and i'm in love.



so i was having a deep conversation with a friend of mine today, and she introduced me to this quote, by author elizabeth gilbert:

"but a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything thats holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. a true soulmate is probably the most important person youll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. but to live with a soulmate forever? nah. too painful. soulmates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. and thank god for it."

i couldn't help but cogitate over this, as it was quite the antithesis of what i've come to understand a soulmate to be. however, the more i thought about it, the more i read closely the passage, i came to understand her outlook... and appreciate it, and even agree with it. soulmates come into your life to teach you, to help you grow. they mesh with you. and i believe that there are different people out there in the world with lessons to teach, love to give, and constructs to destroy. but how can they play that role once your life is changed? things start to deteriorate, and that is when the pain seeps in. thinking back on things, it's how my life has been thus far. someone enters my life in a whirlwind, and they leave just the same. but it's shaped the person i am today, the person i've come to love and appreciate. the person i'm so ardently proud of. so i'm welcoming soulmates, to come. teach me, change me. love me. then leave me. so i can move on to the next, and learn new lessons.

teri moïse - je serai là

i've been in love with the accoustic version of this song since my friend in paris sent it to me last year... but as usual, i'd never checked to see if there was a video... until now. the video is really simple and very chill, but it is incredibly alluring, at least in my opinion it is. the song is in french, but even if you don't speak or understand the language, you're still able to connect with the emotion displayed in the song. so sit back and enjoy it.

in love with this for some reason...

stressed, much???

possibly the most unique|amazing building ever...

...a unique and modern building in prague... definitely a conversation piece.


one evening

so, tonight, as my london friend kristina and i were chatting on msn, we began to take our conversation and turn it into song lyrics. which turned out amazingly, actually. we fed off of each other brilliantly, picking up where the other left off, or changing little tidbits of the other's line to give it better flow. how wondrous! she's an unsigned artist over there, so it'll be exciting (once i'm in that vicinity) getting up with her, creating music and the like. if we can churn out good lyrics virtually, imagine what we could do with actual tools in front of us! it'll be magic. i'm officially excited!

gallery night

last night i went gallery hopping... to about 5 different art exhibits. everything from abstract paintings and pop art, to epoxy/woodwork/miscellaneous objects, and photo exhibits. i really loved the wood, oil, and epoxy paintings and sculptures from dennis beach (who did everything in the above photo). i got really inspired, and really drunk (as the galleries offered complimentary wine, cocktails, and hors d'oeuvres... i had the wine and cocktails without the food... substituted for a cigg or two... or eight!). anyway, i saw some amazing pieces... a few i would have purchased if i wasn't a broke ass student. but i digress. i wish i would have taken photos of some of the exhibits, but i felt weird about pulling out my camera; it almost felt disrespectful. haha. i'm such a lame. i'm kicking myself for not having photos. alas... whatever. anyway, i really want to get a canvas and some acrylic paint and go to town... see what i can do. i've always been interested in painting... but for some reason never picked up a paint brush. EXCEPT when i was in london at a friend's bday party. and it turned out amazingly. and so now, the task is to see if i can create something visually stunning w/out the help of champagne. i think i can.


Chiho Aoshima's mural

i just love what this japanese artist is doing here. it's simply amazing. makes me want to go to japan to see more like it... like right now!!!

see more photos here

badu = ♥

this is why i love her.


things come and go.

1. cigarettes + wine = the cure for insane headaches.
2. no headaches + money = a proactive life.
3. a proactive life = creative spurts.
4. creative spurts = happiness.
5. happiness = contentment.
6. becoming content = lazy ass.

suffice it to say, i have no room in my life at the moment to become a lazy ass, so i need to shape up and get things together. or else! blahhh! essays, essays, job, internship, money, final exams, etc. (i need all of those!!!)

woe is me. the life of an over-the-hill college student. haha.



i loved this song and video back in 03/04... and i still love it now.


random musings

my room gets messier and messier every day... but strangely, i'm ok with it. i've got an immense headache... pounding!... but i can't help but stare into the computer screen and think, "i should go smoke a cigarette... or pour myself a glass of wine." i'm aware of the fact that she has the vocal ability of a mute and dancing ability of a lame, but i can't help but fawn over cassie and her music. i might be the only black person in america voting for hilary clinton, but like my messy room, i'm ok with that. for the past week, i've played phone tag with a possible internship. why we can't seem to catch each other is beyond me... but seriously, the game stops tomorrow! in other news, i can't wait to graduate. seriously. i need to graduate now! not in a year. but now! i think i'm mildly obsessed with mark ronson's album, vanessa paradis's album, as well as estelle's. oh, and i'll see estelle in concert on sunday. exciting. i'll blog about it. or maybe not. blah. my head hurts.


aesthetically pleasing

whoa. i love. below are some contemporary lounge sofa designs.
a part of the cassina, aspen collection.
i'd love to know if they're actually comfortable to sit on.


so, one of my friends put me up on the group little dragon some time ago, and i've been in love ever since. however, with all my love for them and their song 'twice,' i never knew there was a video for it... UNTIL NOW. and i love it. wow. check it out below.

by the way...

i finished 'invisible man' and i loved it. i'm now able to see what all the fuss was about so many years ago, and still today, as it reigns with other classics in the american literature hierarchy. it told such a poignant story, and i was captivated by the nameless main character, mesmerized by his story, his actions, and thoughts. definitely inspiration for me...
...now on to read 'the dreamers,' which was adapted into a movie (amazing by the way, if you've not seen).


so... most who know me, know that i'm obsessed with a film by the name of 'l'auberge espagnol' (the spanish apartment). if you've not seen it, go get it... it's amazing. at any rate, there is a sequel, 'les poupees russes' (the russian dolls), which, until last night, i'd yet to see. i knew it would be an amazing film, as the first was sensational... and how could you screw up such dynamism? i wasn't let down... at all! amazing. i've yet to see a sequel that was as raw and unpredictable as this. you'd think, based on the first installment, the directors and writers would go right... but they totally went left!! and the result was AMAZING. didn't see it coming at all. and i LOVED that about the film. risks were taken, both visually and textually (i think that's the right word... haha... if it isn't, i'm sure you know where i was trying to go with that). i think for those who are prone to like more "americanized" cinema, where everything has its place, and everything has order and predictability, the movie would be a disappointment-- but for those who love/appreciate foreign film, the twists and turns and all the risks taken, the movie will be as amazing as i'm claiming it to be. suffice it to say, both films are killer. go see them if you haven't [end rant here].

and another one...

so, i've been MIA from this blog for a second. for that, i sincerely apologize. school called. i answered. things have been pretty hectic. also, my creativity came crashing back after a night out at a moroccan restaurant... and i've been throwing all of my energy, better yet the energy i've left after school, into working on my novel. at any rate, i've got some time to get on here, so voila! here i am.



once in a while, there comes a song that describes perfectly the way one feels. welcome my latest theme song. it sums up perfectly my recent train of thought.

that hump.

i love school... i do. i love learning, and i love interacting with people. but it's killing me, slowly. the structure. the institutionalism. the bullshit work that has nothing to do with anything. it's clipping my wings. plucking each, one by one, until soon I won't be able to fly, let alone soar in my creativity. what to do, though? i need education. but i need my creativity more. i'm drained. more and more every day, i feel like an invalid. i've managed to hide away my creativeness... tuck it into some crevice, below some structure, away from the contagious monotony currently plaguing me. when i get a chance, when i'm certain it's safe-- usually in the wee hours of the night-- i uncover my creativity and jot a few things down, utilizing it. but only for short periods, as i can't chance it being overcome. i don't suspect i'll have the chance to be my usual creative self for awhile. at least until i find myself done with academia. until then... i don't know, honestly.


boredom leads to...

...shit like this.

floating stairs

i was browsing a friend's blog (antisociology) and came across this photo... and my gosh. how i need these in my life. who wouldn't want floating stairs in their house? jesus. architectural magic. visually stunning. oh how i crave. i crave. i need, i need. well, i want, and hope for the future.


how smart!

ever think to yourself [i need a clever place to store condoms]??
well think no more, the solution is here, and it's rather ingenious.
it's creative, and it's minimalist, which makes me all the more excited about it.
the condom case is from the "honey trap" series by MAVO's masayuki takahashi.



i've never been to spain, but i hope to visit once i'm nestled over in the uk. i want to really see it though, the gritty, raw, honest-to-god shit. not what they want me to see. because, well, i think there's beauty in reality. i came across this photo as i was doing a bit of browsing online, and wanted to post it. i think it's amazing and a good representation of the kind of scenery i wish to view.



how amazing are these? my birthday is in 9 days... if you want to buy me something, these are a good start. the white supra NS trinity. gosh. i haven't been excited about a sneaker since the launch of creative recreation... but these are just... wow.

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."

this quote came to me recently. it's taken from the book the picture of dorian gray, by oscar wilde. i'm not certain what to think of it, as it definitely holds a level of truth, but at the same time, it goes against the values instilled in me as a child. it's alluring though, this quote, and it's something to cogitate.

i'm actually reminded of a conversation i had recently with a friend of mine, where we were discussing our views on substances, peer pressure: that sort of thing. and i was saying how i was never pressured into doing anything by my peers, but my own self, rather. the allure and temptation of what that substance had to offer. and by indulging just once, my curiosity faded and it became a one-time thing. so in a way, lord henry, who is the character in the story responsible for that quote, is correct in his assumption that by yielding to temptation, the temptation becomes no longer.

any thoughts?

the house that dreams built

Vacation home outside Melbourne, Australia, designed by McBride Charles Ryan called 'Klein Bottle.' How amazing is this piece of architecture? From the exterior to the interior, everything about this house is orgasmic.


so, i've come to accept the fact that i'm just not a 'relationship' kind of person. they just don't work for me, nor do they really appeal to me. i don't know. perhaps i'm destined to be alone, with no offspring, or perhaps an adopted one(?)... who knows. but sometimes it's just disheartening, really, as i can't help but think i've got a problem. i'm a freak-- an abnormality. but then i think... maybe it's how i was raised(?). i've never seen my mum in a relationship. come to think about it, i've never really seen any close family members in healthy relationships; in fact, the majority of my family is comprised of single folk. so perhaps i've got this complex hanging over my head where i think relationships are shit, and an unclassifiable, undeniable waste of time. which is just about accurate. am i wrong for that? do i need therapy? maybe. but then again, maybe not. although once in awhile i want to be nestled up next to a boo, i enjoy the freedom associated with not having to be boggled down by someone else's shit, or having to report back to someone every waking hour of the day (i do that enough with my mother, bleh). suffice it to say, i don't know if i'm even capable to pull off a long-term relationship. and i'm okay with that. i think.

odd couple.

the album is dope. if you want to check it out, [see comments].

oh i yearn...

for the day when i can sit in front of a tv and watch skins. london can't come soon enough. *sigh. until then, i'll have to watch on channel4.com, which is a daunting task, as my comp is shit lately. bleh.


l'ennui musical

i was having an interesting conversation with a friend today. about music. it seems, at least to he and i, that music is in a state of boredom right now. there is nothing that seems to pop. nothing tickles the fancy; nothing is orgasmic-- at least with regard to mainstream music. i listen to many different genres, and love them all equally, but realistically speaking, there's only so much underground music i can listen to. i can only listen to so much 'deepness' before i fly off the deep end. i need that mainstream magic to balance things out. but it seems as tho there's nothing out at the moment that really gets me off. oh i long for the day when something as exciting as beyonce's 2003 smash 'crazy in love' drops. it'll pull me out of this musical funk. i seem to be losing myself in downtempo and ambient, soul and blues. i need something smashing to level the playing field. my rambling probably makes no sense to some, which is okay. someone will get what i am trying to say.


in the moment

He sat, slouched at his desk, staring vacantly at the blank page on his monitor. The cursor blinked repetitiously, making a mockery of his inability to perform. Overwhelmed, he allowed his body to swivel along with the chair, desperately hoping that a surge of momentum would come from the free-flowing movement. Nothing. The room was dark and still; the unvarying murmur of a space heater combined with the steady hum of the computer placed him in a trance, which he embraced. It took him briefly away from the task at hand, a daunting job for which he had no plan of execution. Twenty-four years and he didn’t know what to write. Where would he begin? All he needed was one sentence, something that would jump-start his creativity. One word, even. But it wouldn’t come, so he sat, swiveling.


i've smelled heaven.

so my mom and i went to bloomingdales the other day: she had to return a coat. at any rate, we came in through the entrance where the first thing you hit is the fragrance counter. after pushing through the saleswomen bombarding us with samples, and politely taking a few (i was the polite one... my mom kept walking), we did what we came to do. however, while conducting the transaction, i pulled some of the samples from my pocket and we proceeded to smell them. the first was 'daisy' by marc jacobs, which was amazing. it was so fresh and invigorating. suffice to say, this got my mother happy, and she basically fought her way back to the perfume. when we got there, i noticed two perfumes standing alone: the new fendi, and the new pucci. cutting to the chase, the pucci (called pucci vivara) was AMAZING. it was heaven. it's an amazing floral fragrance reminiscent of the italian riviera. it has subtle hints of almond amaretto, and gives off a fresh mediterranean vibe. so for you reading this, if you're a woman and a fan of perfume, go smell it; you'll be immersed in how delectable it is! so anyway, my mom buys it, and the saleswoman remembered my having taken the sample from her... so she gives me a few samples as a thank you for basically handing her a sale. among the samples she gave was the AMAZING new (and FIRST EVER) men's fragrance by prada. i'm a big fan of cologne, but i'm extremely selective. there are lots of colognes that smell good, but i hate that many of them are extremely popular, and when you go somewhere, people are able to name what you're wearing. anyway, from the moment i smelled the prada, i was hooked. it was just my style: mysterious, fresh, light and airy-- ethereal yet masculine. and the fact that it's brand new (meaning not yet popular) i had to jump on it. and it's my latest obsession. for the guys reading this, please don't copy. stick to your issey miyake, cool water, and curve, please.



as some of you know, i'm into public relations. which really doesn't have anything to do with this post, other than being a cool segue into the fact that i enjoy good advertisements, and love to rip apart the bad ones. at any rate, one commercial advertisement in particular i've come to enjoy these days is the new campaign for the oreo brand of cookie. every time i see this ad on television, i smile. it just does my heart good to see father/son bonding. and it really is clever the way the commercial was put together. if you haven't seen it, check it out below:


the last time...

so my last time in london, i was so domesticated and inebriated, i saw absolutely nothing. well, that's not true. from my friend's car, at about 90mph, i saw the london eye, parliament, and big ben (which is the picture to the left, taken from my friend's car). so, really, what i saw was a frenzied shadow of these monuments as i whizzed on by. oh, and i saw the london bridge as i rode the train, and heard "please mind the gap" every two minutes as i rode the tube (after the 4th time hearing it, i wanted to cut off my ears). i plan to actually see something next time i'm there, which will actually come soon. at the end of august, i'll be making the trek to the other side of the pond to study for a few months, which i'm extremely excited about. it's one thing to be there partying for a week, but it's another thing completely to live there for months on end. there's no telling what will happen; that's actually what is exciting. one thing's for sure: i will see some sights, damn it. i want to walk around and see everything, like a cheesy tourist: i think i've the right to do that. eventually, though, i'll get sick of it and blend in like i did last time, partying and living amongst the brits. oooh, and i'll have one of my best friends with me (getting a master's and hopefully finding love aka citizenship), which is amazing! we'll be getting into lots of debauchery, and drinking tons of wine. wow. i'm excited just thinking about it... it's on. oh, and secretly, i plan to immerse myself in the culture so much, i come back to america with an accent. i've always wanted one.

journey through the chakras

so anyone who knows me should know that i'm not into religion as i am spirituality, and i really love yoga. not too long ago, i took a series of classes that encompassed many different branches of the practice, from hatha yoga to tibetan yoga, to partner yoga, to kripalu yoga, to yoga nidra. what stood out to me, though, was the journey we took through the chakras (energy systems throughout the body that govern life force energy). i won't get into the details right now, as it can be a daunting task (not necessarily for me, but for you, the reader) to understand. just know that there are a number of chakras throughout the body, each composite of a different type of energy. they each have different characteristics, and produce a certain type of energy when tapped into. all of this to segue into my having recently purchased a dvd of kundalini yoga, which delves heavily into the chakras. i practiced for the first time today, and i must say, it was a challenge: i wasn't able to finish the whole dvd. suffice to say, as challenging as some of the poses are, it was a great workout, and it left me with an incredible amount energy, both physical and spiritual, which is why i'm here talking about it. so if there is anyone reading who is into yoga but hasn't tried kundalini, or perhaps someone that is curious as to what yoga can bring to your life, i'd say go out and experience it. it'll definitely do you a world of good.


burberry prorsum's fall 2008 rtw = amazing. it's organic, yet incredibly stylish, which kind of describes me to a tee. i feel like i should be draped in duds like these for the upcoming fall/winter season, especially since i'll be living in europe for a bit. however, i'm unbearably broke right now, so i'm going to have to find a way to make it happen. i'm pretty sure my clothes won't be burberry prorsum, but they'll definitely have the chic and organic elements embodied in the collection. and who knows... maybe i'll find the funds to incorporate a piece or two.

here are a few of my favourites from the line:

[photos taken from NYmag.com]