23.3.08

that hump.

i love school... i do. i love learning, and i love interacting with people. but it's killing me, slowly. the structure. the institutionalism. the bullshit work that has nothing to do with anything. it's clipping my wings. plucking each, one by one, until soon I won't be able to fly, let alone soar in my creativity. what to do, though? i need education. but i need my creativity more. i'm drained. more and more every day, i feel like an invalid. i've managed to hide away my creativeness... tuck it into some crevice, below some structure, away from the contagious monotony currently plaguing me. when i get a chance, when i'm certain it's safe-- usually in the wee hours of the night-- i uncover my creativity and jot a few things down, utilizing it. but only for short periods, as i can't chance it being overcome. i don't suspect i'll have the chance to be my usual creative self for awhile. at least until i find myself done with academia. until then... i don't know, honestly.

2 comments:

Jiovanni said...

i totally relate to this. it's a push and pull.

that's all i can say really.

one soulful negro. said...

listening to erykah. i can feel you trying to get out of the struggle to be focused on structure or to be focused on your art. your passion. your joy. feel it out man. hopefully find a balance. if i can help i got you. you know this!