from A Magazine curated by
15 July 2009
01 July 2009
23 June 2009
guaranteed
We had so much
But it wasn’t the physical.
Who we were was nothing
Short of astounding
But it wasn't the tangible.
We had a bond
Stronger than words can describe
And stronger than
The average mind could fathom.
But it wasn’t enough to keep
What we had
And so I lost you.
We had the sexual
And the bliss,
But it was beyond the stereotypical.
It wasn’t as concrete
As it was abstract thinking
Yet somehow, we were pleased.
But even that wasn’t enough to keep
What we had
And so I lost you.
What we experienced
Was outside the norm
And better than anything
Either had imagined
Or encountered in
Anything previous
But it wasn’t enough to keep
What we had
And so I lost you.
Even though laughter
Was everlasting and poured
From our bodies like hot water
And feelings flowed freely
And weren’t hidden,
I still lost you.
So, maybe
It wasn’t meant for me to keep
What we had
So I lost you,
And you lost love…
…Guaranteed.
But it wasn’t the physical.
Who we were was nothing
Short of astounding
But it wasn't the tangible.
We had a bond
Stronger than words can describe
And stronger than
The average mind could fathom.
But it wasn’t enough to keep
What we had
And so I lost you.
We had the sexual
And the bliss,
But it was beyond the stereotypical.
It wasn’t as concrete
As it was abstract thinking
Yet somehow, we were pleased.
But even that wasn’t enough to keep
What we had
And so I lost you.
What we experienced
Was outside the norm
And better than anything
Either had imagined
Or encountered in
Anything previous
But it wasn’t enough to keep
What we had
And so I lost you.
Even though laughter
Was everlasting and poured
From our bodies like hot water
And feelings flowed freely
And weren’t hidden,
I still lost you.
So, maybe
It wasn’t meant for me to keep
What we had
So I lost you,
And you lost love…
…Guaranteed.
passionate living.
Tell me your passions and I'll tell you mine.
The thoughts of a being
Thriving on the thrill of being
Living and not knowing,
Experiencing...
And conquering the undiscovered.
Learning what's on the inside
Of souls like mine
Vibing and building and
Creating something new,
Meaningful and oh so powerful.
Tell me your passions and I'll tell you mine.
Looking up into the clear blue sky
On the prettiest day
Of the year and seeing
A blue bird fly overhead,
Wondering what's in its song
And where it's headed.
Enjoying and seizing the day;
Living life.
Tell me your passions and I'll tell you mine.
Knowing that one day
Love will be mine:
Real love.
Knowing that I'll be able
To break the ongoing cycle of going back
And back and back
To what was perceived as love sublime
Or suffering the loss
Of something that wasn't love
From the start.
Realizing that prior experiences
Only make my love for my real love
Stronger and more fervent,
Longer and everlasting.
Now tell me your passions since I've told you mine.
The thoughts of a being
Thriving on the thrill of being
Living and not knowing,
Experiencing...
And conquering the undiscovered.
Learning what's on the inside
Of souls like mine
Vibing and building and
Creating something new,
Meaningful and oh so powerful.
Tell me your passions and I'll tell you mine.
Looking up into the clear blue sky
On the prettiest day
Of the year and seeing
A blue bird fly overhead,
Wondering what's in its song
And where it's headed.
Enjoying and seizing the day;
Living life.
Tell me your passions and I'll tell you mine.
Knowing that one day
Love will be mine:
Real love.
Knowing that I'll be able
To break the ongoing cycle of going back
And back and back
To what was perceived as love sublime
Or suffering the loss
Of something that wasn't love
From the start.
Realizing that prior experiences
Only make my love for my real love
Stronger and more fervent,
Longer and everlasting.
Now tell me your passions since I've told you mine.
more oldies.
6.
trapped in a love secure.
longing for that one...
soul.
enslaved by thoughts of security
signs aborted, revelations ignored...
mistake number one.
letting time slip away...
waste.
invitations rejected, calls ignored...
mistake number two.
mutual attraction still found during those times
when there was no rejecting,
or ignoring,
or aborting...somehow.
but time is of the essence,
and it waits for no one...
so it left.
7.
Rain on me.
Send your aura splashing down,
making puddles that I can wade in,
and soak up.
Rain hard so that I can
become saturated in the magnificence
that is you.
Rain everywhere so that
wherever I go,
I'll never be without you.
Cause a flood so I'll have some
of you even after you've left—
even if it is just a memory.
8.
if i had a blunt
i'd be sparking it right about...
..now.
inhaling smoke furiously
through my mouth,
up the nostrils trying my damndest to
get a high..
quick.
strong.
it would go nice w/ the half-bottle of merlot i'm consuming.
sitting alone in the dark listening to ambient music
the only light
coming from the computer screen.
not depressed
as you may think.
but strangely, enjoying.
enjoying me..
enjoying time
...space, life..
enjoying...
the moment.
call me crazy.
but moments like these,
j'adore.
9.
he has more trust in complete strangers
than he has with the ones he loves.
when he's confused, it can easily be translated as mean and abrassive.
he loves to be alone
yet craves the company of a confidant.
he breathes simplicity
but dynamic eclecticism is insatiable to him.
he yearns to learn endless
but sadly, little things he forgets.
he wants his life to have meaning
but true meaning takes a lifetime to find...
...and he hates to wait.
10.
a maelstrom of feelings
pulling me into a disconsolate life:
confusing mornings, melancholy days
and depressing nights where
tears fall sporadically...
sometimes.
random outbursts of sadness appear
but only when thoughts resurface:
the things that were said
or what was done
and how nothing could have prepared me
to come face to face
with these turbulent winds.
but knowing that somehow
wings will sprout and spread and
mount me up and ride those winds
and my spirit will glide smoothly
is what protects my sanity...
and then i smile a little.
11.
three stages.
novelty is still there.
things are unpredictable.
future unclear…
but you keep things rolling…
letting happenstance take precedence;
and you do this for a while.
you let things flow…
to see what becomes;
for that while it’s good.
things are easily managed.
things happen when they happen:
in their own time.
but then you realize:
it’s on their time.
novelty is wearing.
you reach out once.
they don’t have the time.
be assured they’ll get back to you
but do they ever?
novelty is gone.
things are predictable.
realization has set in.
trapped in a love secure.
longing for that one...
soul.
enslaved by thoughts of security
signs aborted, revelations ignored...
mistake number one.
letting time slip away...
waste.
invitations rejected, calls ignored...
mistake number two.
mutual attraction still found during those times
when there was no rejecting,
or ignoring,
or aborting...somehow.
but time is of the essence,
and it waits for no one...
so it left.
7.
Rain on me.
Send your aura splashing down,
making puddles that I can wade in,
and soak up.
Rain hard so that I can
become saturated in the magnificence
that is you.
Rain everywhere so that
wherever I go,
I'll never be without you.
Cause a flood so I'll have some
of you even after you've left—
even if it is just a memory.
8.
if i had a blunt
i'd be sparking it right about...
..now.
inhaling smoke furiously
through my mouth,
up the nostrils trying my damndest to
get a high..
quick.
strong.
it would go nice w/ the half-bottle of merlot i'm consuming.
sitting alone in the dark listening to ambient music
the only light
coming from the computer screen.
not depressed
as you may think.
but strangely, enjoying.
enjoying me..
enjoying time
...space, life..
enjoying...
the moment.
call me crazy.
but moments like these,
j'adore.
9.
he has more trust in complete strangers
than he has with the ones he loves.
when he's confused, it can easily be translated as mean and abrassive.
he loves to be alone
yet craves the company of a confidant.
he breathes simplicity
but dynamic eclecticism is insatiable to him.
he yearns to learn endless
but sadly, little things he forgets.
he wants his life to have meaning
but true meaning takes a lifetime to find...
...and he hates to wait.
10.
a maelstrom of feelings
pulling me into a disconsolate life:
confusing mornings, melancholy days
and depressing nights where
tears fall sporadically...
sometimes.
random outbursts of sadness appear
but only when thoughts resurface:
the things that were said
or what was done
and how nothing could have prepared me
to come face to face
with these turbulent winds.
but knowing that somehow
wings will sprout and spread and
mount me up and ride those winds
and my spirit will glide smoothly
is what protects my sanity...
and then i smile a little.
11.
three stages.
novelty is still there.
things are unpredictable.
future unclear…
but you keep things rolling…
letting happenstance take precedence;
and you do this for a while.
you let things flow…
to see what becomes;
for that while it’s good.
things are easily managed.
things happen when they happen:
in their own time.
but then you realize:
it’s on their time.
novelty is wearing.
you reach out once.
they don’t have the time.
be assured they’ll get back to you
but do they ever?
novelty is gone.
things are predictable.
realization has set in.
some old stuff.
so, i haven't updated this blog in ages. things have been really hectic. life. from uni, to my travels, to dealing with self, to loving life with my friends... i just have no been able to provide any updates here.
i guess you could say i've been doing a lot of living. and little if any writing.
so, while i gather my thoughts, i thought i'd provide a few old pieces. oldies but goodies. and new to some.
1.
it starts with darkness & a little pill.
it ends with light pouring through the windows.
the in-between is fuzzy;
perhaps you rocked, and they rolled.
but you smile at the uncertainty
because you know it was a good time.
2.
take better care.
once deemed essential,
now placed as an afterthought:
old and stagnant and stale...
malodorous.
archaic importance evident,
now used for storage:
streamlined and heavy and equipped with armored doors...
vaulted.
once taken care of,
now ran through:
bleak and chipped and damaged...
abandoned.
3.
life:
a desire to be
accepted, appreciated, wanted... loved...
and, essentially, whole.
______
having amazing people around you
makes time go by faster
and it makes life
a lot less monotonous.
______
it's maddening:
catching a quick glimpse of what-- or who-- you want, and not being able to grab it because of circumstance.
you lock eyes. for that second-- that moment-- they are yours. you need them. but: you can't gaze forever, and so you keep moving. but those eyes are still with you, embedded in your mind for the duration of your train ride. and so you wonder-- your imagination runs rampant. but then you realize-- better yet, you remember-- that they're but a stranger.
and then... you struggle to remember their face.
4.
for the creative souls.
one dimensional people always try to steal your layers.
...think about it.
5.
lonely at the top.
look around.
empty space for miles,
except for the blank faces
of those oblivious
people.
soon to be...
disillusioned ones scatter
when realization sets in.
or discarded.
eventual solitude.
you, yourself, and you.
...me, myself, and we.
i guess you could say i've been doing a lot of living. and little if any writing.
so, while i gather my thoughts, i thought i'd provide a few old pieces. oldies but goodies. and new to some.
1.
it starts with darkness & a little pill.
it ends with light pouring through the windows.
the in-between is fuzzy;
perhaps you rocked, and they rolled.
but you smile at the uncertainty
because you know it was a good time.
2.
take better care.
once deemed essential,
now placed as an afterthought:
old and stagnant and stale...
malodorous.
archaic importance evident,
now used for storage:
streamlined and heavy and equipped with armored doors...
vaulted.
once taken care of,
now ran through:
bleak and chipped and damaged...
abandoned.
3.
life:
a desire to be
accepted, appreciated, wanted... loved...
and, essentially, whole.
______
having amazing people around you
makes time go by faster
and it makes life
a lot less monotonous.
______
it's maddening:
catching a quick glimpse of what-- or who-- you want, and not being able to grab it because of circumstance.
you lock eyes. for that second-- that moment-- they are yours. you need them. but: you can't gaze forever, and so you keep moving. but those eyes are still with you, embedded in your mind for the duration of your train ride. and so you wonder-- your imagination runs rampant. but then you realize-- better yet, you remember-- that they're but a stranger.
and then... you struggle to remember their face.
4.
for the creative souls.
one dimensional people always try to steal your layers.
...think about it.
5.
lonely at the top.
look around.
empty space for miles,
except for the blank faces
of those oblivious
people.
soon to be...
disillusioned ones scatter
when realization sets in.
or discarded.
eventual solitude.
you, yourself, and you.
...me, myself, and we.
30 January 2009
back in the real world.
i've returned. back to america. back to philly. back to uni. back to 'real life.'
i'm back yes, but for some reason, i believe i'm back only in the physical sense. my body is here, yes. and i'm going here and going there, doing this and doing that, but my spirit, seemingly, was left in london.
the days are flying by since my return; i barely remember yesterday.
which can't be good, or can it?
one can take it to mean that the countdown has begun. the time until i again leave the united states of america is drawing near.
or it can mean, simply, that i won't truly enjoy being back home. and this might be true. how can one enjoy that which is a blur?
i need time to slow down a bit, as i want to enjoy being home. i need to enjoy being home.
i just don't know how... but i guess i'll start learning.
i'm back yes, but for some reason, i believe i'm back only in the physical sense. my body is here, yes. and i'm going here and going there, doing this and doing that, but my spirit, seemingly, was left in london.
the days are flying by since my return; i barely remember yesterday.
which can't be good, or can it?
one can take it to mean that the countdown has begun. the time until i again leave the united states of america is drawing near.
or it can mean, simply, that i won't truly enjoy being back home. and this might be true. how can one enjoy that which is a blur?
i need time to slow down a bit, as i want to enjoy being home. i need to enjoy being home.
i just don't know how... but i guess i'll start learning.
23 November 2008
in need of adderall.
i don't know why, but the ability to sit down and concentrate on doing work has evaded me since being in london. i just can't do it. my mind starts to wander, thinking about everything else i could be doing. and i get antsy. and i get up and do something else. or, i get on facebook, or download music, or sleep. i just can't do work here, and that is bothersome, as i need to know that when i come back for grad school, i'll be able to focus. blah. i'll cross that bridge when i come to it. in the meantime, i'll just procrastinate and wait until the last minute, resulting in numerous nervous breakdowns. ha. can't wait.
dancing on the ceiling.
feeling no pain, you blast yourself into outer space amongst the satellites. when you feel yourself about to descend, you blow and blow. and blow. until you blow yourself back into orbit: you're happy now and life is grand up there. suddenly, though, you get bored with space and so you plunge yourself into the depths of obscurity. into the things hidden in the farthest recesses of your mind-- they become reality. nothing is impossible. you see it all. you feel it all. you sense it all. you hear it all. your eyes widen as the space around you turns to marshmallow. but this gets to be too much for you, and you begin to miss floating around in orbit. so you blow yourself back to space.
05 November 2008
21 September 2008
i haven't abandoned you.
London. It's still crazy to think that I am here. But I am. And I love it. I wake up daily with a smile on my face, knowing that I haven't a clue what the day has in store for me. And I embrace that. I revel in it. I love being able to walk around freely and observe, see how people live and interact with each other. I love observing the culture, the amalgamated culture-- a mix of high and low. I love that because cultures are converging (especially with the amount of immigration in London) it is virtually impossible to distinguish who is who: the person shopping next to you at Selfridge's, or the person sitting next to you on the tube could be anyone. That makes me comfortable. It gives me a sense of excitement: the mystery, the vagueness, the vastness. London is a city so accessible, yet so inaccessible. And totally unpredictable; everything from the rain to the fashion to culture to personalities-- you never know what you're going to get, and I love it. I can hardly wait to see what comes of my time here in this anomaly of a city. Whatever happens, I have a feeling I'll leave having adopted its unpredictability.
02 July 2008
murakami = prodigious
so i went to nyc over the weekend to the brooklyn museum for the takashi murakami exhibit. i must say, that it was the most amazing art exhibit i've beheld: two floors of otherworldly magic is what it was, and i felt as if i'd been abducted by aliens and taken aboard their craft, for a mere $8 fee. cutting edge annime-inspired sculptures, ultrathin & seemingly flat paintings, luxurious collaborations with design house louis vuitton, vivid, [borerline psychadelic] colours and surrealist characters, astounding imagery [sexuality and consumerism], and wonderfully cynical paradigms, the exhibit was everything i expected and much much more.
[from top: takashi murakami's that I may time transcend, that a universe my heart may unfold (2007); famous anime characters, kaikai & kiki; surrealist version of character DOB; sculptures, my lonesome cowboy and busty hipron (1998).]
21 June 2008
+ the beat goes on...
i've not been around much lately. things have been extremely hectic, so much so that i've not had the energy, much less the time, to add to the blog. but busy is a good thing, yes? i like to think so. while i've been gone, i've been learning lots, challenging myself, finally allowing room for a bit of fun, getting to know some new people, and listening to some new music (new to me at least), which has turned out to be an enriching experience.
at any rate, now i'm back (until i get swamped again, hehe).
unfortunately, at the moment, i'm at a loss for words. so i'll be back later.
at any rate, now i'm back (until i get swamped again, hehe).
unfortunately, at the moment, i'm at a loss for words. so i'll be back later.
10 May 2008
au moment.. j'aime...
+madonna's hard candy
+lemon coconut cookies from whole foods
+raw almonds
+bbq seitan from whole foods
+jason mraz's we sing, we dance, we steal things
+small notebooks
+the cool kids
+lcd soundsystem
+estelle's shine
+minimalism
+stretched-out white tees
+london
+an organized mess
+japan
+thift store-bought knitted cardigan
+facebook
+hillary clinton
+solange
+prince's sign o' the times
+my black ipod
+my black skinny jeans
+my black and white flip-flops
+mark ronson's version
+parliament marlboro lights
+lupe fiasco's the cool
+my internship
+takashi murakami
+cut copy
+the dreamers [all-encompassing]
+madonna's ray of light
+tickets
+party monster
+friends
+santogold
+whatever else i like these days
+lemon coconut cookies from whole foods
+raw almonds
+bbq seitan from whole foods
+jason mraz's we sing, we dance, we steal things
+small notebooks
+the cool kids
+lcd soundsystem
+estelle's shine
+minimalism
+stretched-out white tees
+london
+an organized mess
+japan
+thift store-bought knitted cardigan
+hillary clinton
+solange
+prince's sign o' the times
+my black ipod
+my black skinny jeans
+my black and white flip-flops
+mark ronson's version
+
+lupe fiasco's the cool
+my internship
+takashi murakami
+cut copy
+the dreamers [all-encompassing]
+madonna's ray of light
+tickets
+party monster
+friends
+santogold
+whatever else i like these days
09 May 2008
frida kahlo
yesterday i had the chance to visit the frida kahlo art exhibit at the philadelphia museum of art. aside from being extremely crowded, the exhibit was amazing. i'd always heard of frida kahlo (salma hayek played her in the movie 'frida') and saw her staple pieces, but to see other pieces she created, and even personal photographs of hers was gratifying. at any rate, for those of you who aren't aware, frida was an artist who painted self-portraits, using symbolism and multiple selfs to show her feelings during pivotal moments in her life. i really got into a lot of the pieces, especially hearing the story behind each one. suffice it to say, the exhibit was enlighening.
04 May 2008
human nature.
i remember seeing this video when i was younger. let's see... '95... i was about 11. i remember my older cousins watching this video and being enamored with it. loving the rawness. the edginess. i didn't really get it back then. but i get it now. and i'm in love.
20 April 2008
soulmates.
so i was having a deep conversation with a friend of mine today, and she introduced me to this quote, by author elizabeth gilbert:
"but a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything thats holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. a true soulmate is probably the most important person youll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. but to live with a soulmate forever? nah. too painful. soulmates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. and thank god for it."
i couldn't help but cogitate over this, as it was quite the antithesis of what i've come to understand a soulmate to be. however, the more i thought about it, the more i read closely the passage, i came to understand her outlook... and appreciate it, and even agree with it. soulmates come into your life to teach you, to help you grow. they mesh with you. and i believe that there are different people out there in the world with lessons to teach, love to give, and constructs to destroy. but how can they play that role once your life is changed? things start to deteriorate, and that is when the pain seeps in. thinking back on things, it's how my life has been thus far. someone enters my life in a whirlwind, and they leave just the same. but it's shaped the person i am today, the person i've come to love and appreciate. the person i'm so ardently proud of. so i'm welcoming soulmates, to come. teach me, change me. love me. then leave me. so i can move on to the next, and learn new lessons.
teri moïse - je serai là
i've been in love with the accoustic version of this song since my friend in paris sent it to me last year... but as usual, i'd never checked to see if there was a video... until now. the video is really simple and very chill, but it is incredibly alluring, at least in my opinion it is. the song is in french, but even if you don't speak or understand the language, you're still able to connect with the emotion displayed in the song. so sit back and enjoy it.
possibly the most unique|amazing building ever...
...a unique and modern building in prague... definitely a conversation piece.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
