abroad.

back to the real world.

i've returned. back to america. back to philly. back to uni. back to 'real life.'
i'm back yes, but for some reason, i believe i'm back only in the physical sense. my body is here, yes. and i'm going here and going there, doing this and doing that, but my spirit, seemingly, was left in london.
the days are flying by since my return; i barely remember yesterday.
which can't be good, or can it?
one can take it to mean that the countdown has begun. the time until i again leave the united states of america is drawing near.
or it can mean, simply, that i won't truly enjoy being back home. and this might be true. how can one enjoy that which is a blur?
i need time to slow down a bit, as i want to enjoy being home. i need to enjoy being home.
i just don't know how... but i guess i'll start learning.

in need of adderall.

i don't know why, but the ability to sit down and concentrate on doing work has evaded me since being in london. i just can't do it. my mind starts to wander, thinking about everything else i could be doing. and i get antsy. and i get up and do something else. or, i get on facebook, or download music, or sleep. i just can't do work here, and that is bothersome, as i need to know that when i come back for grad school, i'll be able to focus. blah. i'll cross that bridge when i come to it. in the meantime, i'll just procrastinate and wait until the last minute, resulting in numerous nervous breakdowns. ha. can't wait.

possibly my favourite thing about london.

dancing on the ceiling.

feeling no pain, you blast yourself into outer space amongst the satellites. when you feel yourself about to descend, you blow and blow. and blow. until you blow yourself back into orbit: you're happy now and life is grand up there. suddenly, though, you get bored with space and so you plunge yourself into the depths of obscurity. into the things hidden in the farthest recesses of your mind-- they become reality. nothing is impossible. you see it all. you feel it all. you sense it all. you hear it all. your eyes widen as the space around you turns to marshmallow. but this gets to be too much for you, and you begin to miss floating around in orbit. so you blow yourself back to space.